Wishing Well

Once upon a time in a faraway land, beyond the thrice ninth stardom, the thrice tenth realm, in a country of the coldest winds and the sallowest sun, lived a mighty tsar. His wife...the Tsarina was the most gorgeous creature that ever was seen with a wardrobe full of the most gorgeous Chanel dresses, Hermes scarves and Manolo Blahniks. The Tsarevich was a bit spoilt, like all princes are and spent his time lazing around. But he wasn’t too bad either. And there was also a Princess.

The last wasn’t very special. She spent most of her time Orkutting. So there shouldn’t be much to write about her anyway. But because I’m the one who’s writing this, I’ll write about her only and if you think that’s stupid…feel free to fuck off.

So they were all living lives there way when one fine day, riding up to the castle door comes a

handsome Prince. He wasn’t really a Prince but was bright and charming and swept the whole family quite off their feet. But most swept away was the Princess herself. It was love at first sight.

It made roses bloom and nightingales sing. It made the sun shine and the crop grow. The Princess loved him with all her heart and the feeling, she thought, was mutual.

Then one fine morning, the Prince was gone. The Princess was sure he had gone to bring her the wedding wreath of Golden Orchids from the neighboring kingdom …a flower that bloomed in Tsar Sergeii’s gardens. It was a flower so rare that only Tsar Sergeii’s daughter was allowed to pick it. And a nine headed dragon guarded the garden relentlessly. The princess was worried-but only just a bit-cause she was sure he’d slay the dragon. Princes always do. Duuh!

So she climbed her North Tower and awaited his return, her eyes on the road looking onto the horizon for the red cloud of dust that would signal the approach of the Prince’s steed and its handsome rider. A whole year passed by. And nobody came.

And then came the thirteen horsemen from Tsar Sergeii, begging the Tsar and his family to join him in his daughter’s wedding party.

It was the newest gossip in town. The Princess had gone to get her hair fixed when she caught it in the beautician’s.

The beautiful daughter of Tsar Sergeii had been picking flowers in her garden when a prince had come breaking in, slaying the dragon and demanding a golden wreath. i.e. till their eyes met. And it was love at first sight.

‘Yet again…’ thought the Princess, as she cried into her soggy pillow deep into the night. Night after night.

The wedding was to be a gala celebration. The Tsar wanted to go cause his favorite DJ Tiesto was going to play all evening. The Tsarina wanted to show off her newest thing from Prada. The Tsarevich wanted to go cause all princesses from neighboring kingdoms had been invited. The Princess didn’t want to go. She had a headache that no amount of Paracetamol could cure.

And as the Princess was the youngest of them all, and pretty spoilt, they just stayed at home and played poker with cookies.

It turned out to have been a blessing after all cause that night a storm started, the likes of which had never been seen before. The rain lashed against the tall minarets making the glass panes rattle and the lightning flashed across the sky and threatened to put the entire palace on fire. And this weather simply refused to pass! Seasons changed and the rain turned into snow. The sun took a permanent shelter under thick, steel-grey clouds. Not a bird sang. Not a flower blossomed. And nobody could leave their homes. It was like the entire kingdom was in mourning. An entire year passed like this.

Then one night when the storm had reached a crescendo there was a knock on the palace door. It was a travelling hermit seeking shelter. And obviously the kind old King let him in. He took the man to his library, warmed him by the blazing fire, gave him some hot chocolate and put him to bed in the fluffiest couch and read to him from the latest Harry Potter till he fell asleep.

The next morning they sat down to chat. The King told the hermit all his woes because the hermit was a wise man and the King hoped would be the one to help him out. The hermit told the King that peace would return to the kingdom when the princess’s inner peace was restored. And saying this, he walked away.

The King understood and was very pleased and smiled to himself. That is, he thought he understood and smiled to himself.

The next morning he called all his ministers and arranged for an archery competition where princes from all kingdoms near and far were invited. There was to be a rotating disc with a fish on it, fixed high above the archers’ heads, somewhere in the high vaulted ceiling. There was to be an urn of water placed directly below the fish. The archer had to see the reflection and shoot the arrow into the eye of the fish. The winner, it was guaranteed, would win not just the Princess’s hand but also half of the kingdom (of course the Tsarevich being rather foolish made no objections to this tomfoolery).

Princes came from all over the place. Princes with ruffs around their necks from the Pudding Island, princes with masked faces and billowing robes from Italy, princes wearing kilts from Scotland(they made the Princess giggle..she thought they looked gay!), princes on camels with exotic kohl lined eyes from the Asian deserts, princes with green complexion and antennae from Vernius planet of the Kapra system. There were also five princes of India, all rather good looking, of whom one won the contest.

But then the princess decided that the shoot-the-fish criteria had been sort of random. So she cancelled the whole project.

[The five brothers from India were very angry and planned a revenge on the Tsar all through their passage back home. But then they had another archery contest to attend with the same task as that of the tsar’s {spy systems were very developed back then} which they won, {all thanks to the previous practice}. They each won 1/5th of this really gorgeous princess which is why they not just forgave the tsar but also sent him an elephant as a gift.]

Back at the tsar’s kingdom, the tsar was having a tough time dealing with all the princes demanding a refund of the lottery and all. So he threatened to decrease the Princess’s pocket money if she did not choose one prince. Fast.

This worked.

And she selected the kohl eyed prince from Naishapur who she was pleased to find could not even hold a bow properly but was an awesome poet! The Princess had no intention of finally marrying him and had planned to make him flee by a show of her temper. But because of the tsar’s threat, she had to carry on with hanging around with this guy from Naishapur for some time first. She had thought this would kill her.

But Omar and she had a surprisingly good time. He gifted her intoxicating perfumes, exotic wines, and glorious silks from the East. He recited his poetry to her by the river at sunset and entertained her with stories of kings who wore diamond-studded turbans, queens who ruled over these kings and the mighty domed palaces where they resided.

The Princess had almost contemplated smiling.

That night at dinner, the king announced to his friends and subjects that he had great news.

The Princess was to be wed! On hearing this Prince of Naishapur threw a bachelor’s party. All the castle’s men got drunk and dropped like dead men on the floor and over the Persian rugs, intoxicated.

On hearing this The Princess clutched the arms of her chair so tightly that her knuckles went white, cheeks went red and eyes glittered like diamonds. Then she threw a bachelorette party and all the castle’s women got drunk and dropped off as well.

Next morning, the Princess was not to be found. ‘Kidnapped’ said the king.

‘Escaped’ said the Master of the Stables. Their fastest steed was also missing.

But the king was not to be bothered. He had been getting more than a little pissed off by the princess’s mood swings and antics. So he sighed. The reason being relief and Velocity (Velocity being the horse). He also sent Omar back to Naishapur…camels, poetry and all. He kept the wine to himself though.

Anyway.. The princess and her fleet steed… well they travelled far and they travelled wide when suddenly they saw a sign by the road.

‘Wishing Well’ it said.

‘How kind of you!’ said the Princess and was moving away when Velocity (he could talk, of course) explained to her its true meaning and took her to the well.

That Tiara from Tiffany’s….a box of Hershey’s…God! It was a difficult task, deciding.

And then, she thought of her Prince.

And the moment she thought of him the surface of the water started to churn and to glow. And when it grew still again she could see his clear reflection in the water. Smiling and handsome as ever. Beside him stood his rosy bride. And they cuddled their newborn child in their arms.

The princess’s vision became blurred and a tear plopped into the well. The moment it touched the water, the spirit of the well appeared and granted the princess one wish. She shook, and faltered.

And she knew what she wanted. ‘I wish him eternal happiness’ said she.

And the spirit disappeared. The images on the water faded. The sun had set. And the Princess sat in the darkness crying. She realized how selfish she had been. She regretted, repented and cried. And with each tear she shed, a new spirit appeared and hovered over the water waiting for her to make a wish.

When finally she stopped crying, she could see through a teary haze that a crowd had collected over the well. And the haloes around their heads had turned the night into day. She had to make wishes.

She wished her kingdom cheer. She wished that the people would be joyful once more. That there be crop in the bare fields, a sun in the overcast sky and song in the birds once more. She wished peace to her father, vanishing wrinkles for her mother and a girlfriend for her brother. She wished for success for Omar.

Finally there remained just one more wish left. And she wished for herself some happiness.

That very moment, she slipped and fell into the well.

The steed returned to the palace and told the king what had happened. There was a countrywide screening of Walt Disney Enchanted (2007). And the subjects rested in peace knowing that their Princess was somewhere in New York, alive and well and married to this handsome lawyer.

But no Princess ever climbed out of a manhole in the Times’ Square.

Because you see, the well did grant her wish. One smile as the overwhelming sense of nothingness swept over her and the silent, dark water hugged her tight.

A frog croaked somewhere in the darkness. She never lived happily ever after. But then again, all was well.