Today has been a day of many firsts.
Today, for the first time I have felt completely alone. Not lonely, not isolated.
Alone.
That has put me in better perspective. I now know the exact expanse of my mediocrity. I accept judgment. Better still, I welcome criticism. Pain is my most potent emotion. And right now I pine for its familiar twinge. Just to confirm that I live, all melodrama apart.
I have tried to write but not a single thought worth inflicting on the world has crossed my mind. The universe is blunt and heavy with truth and helplessness. The threshold of creativity is too high and I can only stand and stare beyond, at the brink of output.
Today I have realized that right and wrong have nothing to do with good or bad. They have no opposition. They are but extremities of one another. Thereby, I am drained of love, hate and all other tertiary emotions.
Feeding dogs, caffeination, meditating amidst the green scurry of squirrels and the chalk-board screeching of seven sisters have been experiences more liberal than existence itself.
Life is a hushed grey cycle of heartbreaks and hopes quietly unharnessing themselves when you are not looking. Fragments of incoherent horrors, semblances of nightmares.
Today has been a lifetime without the prospect of waking up with parched relief.
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