I for Idiot

I’m happy... I’m satisfied… I’m safe inside this vacuum… My rainbow bubble that hasn’t gone blip.. Yet!!

And a smirk and a bleh to you if you feel jealous!!

It is like walking into the street with your shades on and headphones plugged well in!
You can ogle incredulously at what people are doing (Reading...no... positively gawking at the Calcutta Times chicks with his 40 years old colleague on the last seat of an s9…wtf dude??…err…wtf uncle?, telling your date that you are 10 minutes away from Hiland Park when you haven’t crossed Science City yet… we can hear you!!cudnt you like at least lie in a lower tone??, wearing 3 fuck-bands…girl do you even know what they mean???)… And no one catches you staring … At least they can never be sure…

You can curse everybody in your mind.... And they can’t read it in your crinkled gaze…
You can have a crush on this random guy and flutter your eyelashes rapidly... Involuntarily... And not make it apparent …

What’s better... They can stare… They can hate… They can love… But they can never get to have you know!!

Your information being your choice!!

And I have pigs flying outside of my window!!

Utopia.

The pigs too. Then there would be KFP…And their hot wings would be HUGE!!

And yes! I’m positively psyched up right now….

Did you really need me to tell you that? No!!!

Cos I’m remembering those brightly illustrated ‘Once there was a Hedgehog’ books that mum used to get me from Vostok on days when I’d finished one whole chapter of K.C.Nag by myself! *shivers* Life revolved around Raduga Publishers.Moscow… I’m in love with Russian literature I had decided….

What was I thinking???????

Russian literature is so much more about War and Peace...

No wait… That one was easy…

It’s more about Anna Karenina… And Resurrection…!!

And the idea that there are people who have finished and understood them respectively…

Hell!! It’s about the people who had the gumption to write these books!!!

And did a day really have24 hours back then? Are you sure?

And presently... It’s about The Idiot…

Ages ago Facebook had told me that it was this book that describes my life in one of those quizzes that you take when you are fresh into it… And I had not published the result because of the very predictable comments it demanded…

Im a complex person.

Had I known back then... Id have been pleased with myself… Very pleased after all!!

*faints*

Achromatic

Late one night...through the dark, damp smog,
Amidst it's particulate, articulate soft-nothing fingers,
I will return with the eventlessness of another demented day....

To where I live. Not my home.
To a dying fire and the clatter of steel garbage drums....
Of a bony cat jumping for a bony fish. Maybe a fishy bone.
Intoxicated laughter and intoxicated love...

I will paint the vacuum of my life.
...nudes, grays and ashen black.
And perhaps a touch of a corrupted white...

But before I wet my brush with smoky nostalgia,
Before I forget..
I will paint this glorious sunshine of today.

And you.
You can be my vermilion hue.

Flight

On the gossamer mazes…and off wet pavements….

The blotted stars and the muted moon reflected their fragile gold...

Idle insects socialized around the chrome mist of the streetlight…in dizzying circles...

And from the intense darkness beneath came a chorus of invisible cicadas...

A muffled blast from the stereo next door made a white mass come to life on a slippery window sill…

Saucer eyes scanned all 360 degrees and took off in soundless flight…

The silhouetted figure that had been standing in a stupor against the wall had come back to life...

And was stumbling in into the pool of gloom that had accumulated in the alley...

Through the night’s unending rain…

With halting, faltering steps he was closing in…

Kicking a can out of the way, loudly breaking the atmosphere with shards of aluminium tyranny…

The spongy wooden boards of the stairs strained under his heavy booted feet…

There was a click at the door

And abruptly the music died…

The stillness that ensued was interrupted hours later…

With a shrill cry… stifled as soon as it left her mouth…

And then the owl returned to its perch again...

And kept watch over the clogged canal for movement…

Until dawn.