i don't wish

I wanted to go to College Street today. I wanted to feel the nervousness of being around CMC. Wanted to have the chance to run into old school mates. Look at the green painted doors and the torn books inside with pride.


I wanted to take the metro from somewhere to New Market. I wanted to roam about through its cool cobbled insides. Wanted to buy myself a jhola in red silk. And a sniff of Nahoum’s walnut brownie.

Wanted to walk all the way to Park Street. Wanted to walk through Sudder and find the quaint boho shop in the garage. The one where C2 got her blue canvas bag. The one she painted golden paws in.

And go home when the sky went ultramarine. But I didn’t.

Won’t be full of I anymore. i Promise.

What is sad is that you didn’t get that whenever i said i, i implied your being with me.
I’m sorry I took you for granted.
Won’t happen again.

is the chill seeping in to you
i can feel it too
worse.
cos its me that it comes through

finite injustice

eight months.and all the happiness has lead to...?

frustration.anticipation.desperation.(read separately).


not wishing my ex-best fried on her birthday.because i didn't feel like it.was cold.


the pigeons demand a bird bath now.is freezing.

not hot enough. black frayed cardigan whose sleeves you shouldn't pull up.it loses elasticity that way.

a green framed view of the narrow busy road. through glass that reflects unkempt hair.will always be warm.

and i did not. no. no. no. no.
i did not.